


A Thousand Memories

by lostinthesounds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bellarke, F/M, Fluff, blarke, s5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 04:55:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14742377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: “Didn’t you guys have some sort of privacy in that bunk-“ Clarke turns with a snarl on her face, almost tripping when she realizes it wasn’t Wonkru.Bellamy stares, her shared ration still placed in his right hand.- post 5x05 campire scene





	A Thousand Memories

_“So is surviving alone”_

Bellamy waits to see her reaction, it makes him warm inside when her head does a slow turn to face him. It’s so new, having Clarke in his sights again and he’s still getting used to it. 

Her shoulders slouch, like she’s replaying all of the memories and pain of the last six years in a span of seconds. 

“I wasn’t alone.” Clarke simply says, blinking a few times to see if it’s real. To see if he’s there beside her, like in her dreams. Should she tell him? That she actually dreamed for him to come back, admitted her feelings over a crappy radio and finally tell him how he’s kept her sane? She breathes, “I had Madi, so I technically wasn’t alone” 

Bellamy’s head tilts, wanting more of her answer even though he already knows how much the little girl means to the woman in front of him. 

He asks “How did you do it?” 

Clarke just shrugs, “It _doesn’t_ matter, it’s over. We’re all together again so why should it?” She shys away. 

Bellamy is sitting across from her in the campfire, her already glowing skin was radiant against the orange light and he could feel the heat radiating off both of their bodies. He can’t help but want to be closer to her, closer to the Clarke he knew. His fingers graze her’s, sending warning signals to his brain because he should obviously stop. But he won’t, he won’t allow himself to step away from the person he loved, especially not a second time. 

“Clarke,” Bellamy sighs, knowing she’s frowning even with her short hair covering half her face. 

She shakes her head, pulling away from any potential contact she herself had craved all those years, and stands. 

“I’m tired so you could have the rest of my rations....’all of me for all of us’ right?” 

Clarke was the one to sigh then feeling disappointed in her strength of admitting something so personal, but she doesn’t look back at Bellamy when her feet dig into the sand when she walks away. 

She didn’t even feel the second tear drop onto her dirty cheeks, when she heard her tent flap open. 

“Didn’t you guys have some sort of privacy in that bunk-“ Clarke turns with a snarl on her face, almost tripping when she realizes it wasn’t Wonkru. 

Bellamy stares, her shared ration still placed in his right hand but his eyes are solely locked on everything she was in that moment. She wasn’t slick when wiping away her tears, already giving up when his eyes crease in pain for her emotions. It’s a fight she can’t win or convince him of. 

He’s the one to speak first, voice cracking in the slightest and he doesn’t know where it comes from.

“Madi said that you found her when it reached the second month after Praimfaya? You’re really gonna tell me that you weren’t going insane then? Or even after?.” Bellamy looks around the room, trying to put himself in her shoes of how she survived this hell hole. 

Clarke doesn’t know what to say first, but stumbles on her words. “The beginning was hard, yes.” Was all she could say. 

Bellamy fully steps into her tent without consent but she allows it, wanting the challenge to get the burden off her chest because it was crushing her heart with every chance it got. 

“How did you do it? One person doesn’t keep you sane Clarke-“ He begins, setting the food aside. 

She continues, getting close to her limit before breaking. “Two people, actually.”

His eyes seem to sparkle in the light from the sky, and somehow it makes him happier to know that someone else was here too. But what happened? 

Bellamy asks, watching as Clarke fiddles with her fingers and shifts from the balls of her feet. She isn’t even looking at him. 

He steps closer. “Who?” 

She doesn’t hesitate to meet him halfway that their boots are touching. 

Clarke gasps when they lock eyes, something they haven’t done enough of and it unlocks the cage on her heart immediately. 

“You.” She’s breathless. 

Bellamy’s mouth opens slightly, a silent shock of his own. “Me?” How is that possible? He was in space and she was on Earth, not to mention dead in his mind for three years. 

She grasps onto both of his hands, wanting to pull him close but unaware of his motives or reactions if she does so....so she doesn’t do anything but hold them. 

Her blue is locked on his brown eyes, and it’s like everything disappeared. 

“It was a crappy radio actually, I threw it out when Eliguis came down...I didn’t want them to find it. It didn’t even work anyway, I used it to call you.” Clarke laughs in pity, tears down her face because it was painful to think of. 

One of his hands, she doesn’t know which, comes to swipe the tears away and it’s more gentle than she’d ever imagine his touch be. 

“For how long?” He hesitates, because it’ll break his heart if he’s correct. 

“Exactly 2,199 days.” Clarke responds, collapsing into his arms because that weight was finally lifted. Her eyes shut, burning with emotion and happiness when she feels his arms wrap just as tight. 

Her arms snake around his neck, pulling herself up right to find a place in the crook of his neck. Finding somewhere to call her home, on the body of a man who she recognized as her safe haven. 

He doesn’t know why he does it, but Bellamy grabs her face and holds it still so he could see her again. His lips tingling because the urge to kiss her was so great, but it’ll have consequences and he knows it. However, he knows she’s deserving of that love and it jabs at his heart strings because he can’t do it. 

His eyes are frantic. “I was the one who kept you sane all these years?” 

She does nothing but nod, her pulse quickening in a state of panic. But it felt good with him around. “I tried to talk to the rest of you...B-But I couldn’t open up to them about what the hell was going on down here unless I was talking to you.” 

They could hear the wind outside the tent, settling easy and calm in a world that’s about to turn crazy. 

A sad smile on Bellamy’s face was enough to fill her with pride, opposite of what he was feeling. 

He breathes in the air around them both and suddenly he’s back in Arkadia. The smoke from the fire burning on their clothes, the realization of being lonely was back to haunt them. Only, that was six years ago. 

This is now, and he’s changed and so has she. 

Clarke’s hand holds the back of his spine that it was gentle enough to be absent in her mind but powerful in his, because it’s so real. 

Her fingers grip the bottom heam of his jacket, pulling him just an inch closer. 

“You saved me.” She declares. 

Bellamy can’t help but shake his head because he was the one that left her, and his knees almost buckle. 

His words sound harsh. “I didn’t Clarke, I left you behind” 

Her eyes are so bright looking up at him that it blinds his thought. They never thought they’d see eachother again, and this is how their relationship changes. He saw how it affected Murphy and Emori and he doesn’t want that for her. 

He won’t leave her side, and that’s what scares him the most. 

Bellamy tries to look away, emotions filling the back of his throat until they burn but Clarke pulls him back into their reality. Into what she does for him. 

“Hey,” Clarke’s hands hold his face, her other world in the palm of her hands. 

Rough and scratchy, the hair on his chin and cheeks. She loves it. 

“Don’t blame yourself but something I told you to do....We were the heart and the head for our people.” She stops to notice his eyebrows crease together because she’s never shown this much passion to him. Her heart stops for a second, but she regroups. “That’s what we did to survive, we worked together.” 

He suddenly blurts, “You sacrificed yourself for us.” 

Clarke smiles because he finally got her point, glad to see their partnership hasn’t changed with time. At least, for now. 

The urge was strong for the both of them...her heart was screaming at her for her to do something that would change their dynamic forever. 

She lets out a small breath. “I did it to save our people, our friends. I-I did it to save you.” 

Bellamy feels so delicate, so fragile in her hold but like the strongest man walking on the ground to love a woman just as powerful. He’s grieved for so long, desperate for anything that would bring her back to him. All he wanted to do was come home, to the place that robbed him. 

“I’m sorry Clarke.” He says softly, lips leaning into a patch of skin on her temple. He had to do something, to rid himself of the guilt. His body was on fire, like he had thrown his soul into the pit of the Wonkru dinner. 

Her fingers go back to the place of clutching onto his hands, meeting the toughness of a person who killed to survive, the hands that held too many bottles to forget the way she made him feel. He’s the original Bellamy, too soft for her. 

“Don’t be, I’m glad you’re here with me again” She says, her lips are a flat line because how could she make him feel better? They’ve been through so much together, and those are all memories. 

He squeezes her fingers as tight as she had once did, and his forehead touches her’s. It takes her breath away for the millionth time. 

“What does your heart say about what you wanna do right now?-“ A pause to get lost in the blonde waves he pulls behind her left ear, it’s so beautiful. He continues as her eyes flicker to his lips and Bellamy licks them on instinct. 

The nerves build in his chest. “This is gonna change _us_ Who are we are to eachother....” 

Clarke feels her blood run smooth, her heart about ready to implode in her chest because she wants to kiss him too. Of course, she knows the consequences and wants to dive head in first. 

“I’ve already told you everything on those stupid tapes, I’m sure I could handle you, alive and in front of me” 

Bellamy’s chin dimples appear when he smiles for the first time, but he’s leaning in closer. “Too bad, you threw them out” 

She feels his hands find a place on her neck, tugging her closer to kiss her lips and he wants to feel the experience. 

Clarke’s eyes widen a bit, shocked with the pace moving so fast but she expects it. Her world isn’t slow anymore, it’s alive and kicking and it’s too precious to do it alone. Even if she had Madi. 

She finally has the courage to repeat his answer from the afternoon, feeling his breath hot against her top lip and it tickles her nose and she’s lit on sparks within herself. 

“My heart feels the same as yours, so what now?” She asks, hands placed on his shoulders. 

As soon as her last word leaves her mouth, Bellamy closes the gap between them. His lips slowly finding a groove, exploring the curve of her lips only to do the same with her hips in a short amount of time. He’s happy, a smile grown on his face that makes it hard for Clarke to kiss back. 

One of Bellamy’s hands falls to hold Clarke against him, creeping behind her back to hold her like she’d done for him. 

It’s certain, that he’d never let her go anymore. A thousand memories wrack in his brain, all of them shared with her in ways that mostly caused chaos. 

Somehow, a tear ends up falling down her cheek and Bellamy swipes it away before it hits the back of his hand and she knows that her cloud of rainy days are over. His lips are soft against hers, and it makes them both forget about a war coming their way. 

Love does that to you, she guesses. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I had to do something about 5x05 so I hope you guys enjoy this probably terribly written drabble about something I wish happened. Mwaahhh xox


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